Yo. Let me tell you a story about my day. I spent about two hours walking from one building to another trying to get an answer to some magical price estimating problem for NASA. Talked to three or four different people only to find out that my bosses' boss equivalent over in flight dynamics was all like "Cheesecake Lover you need to stop asking questions and come talk to me. Get on my calendar." Jeez lets not go running around when my head chopped off for a few hours next time.
Anyways,
Let me explain this blog to those who give a flying batman. I am here to talk about random crap on my life for the first paragraph of every post. And trust me, every. single. post. will have that paragraph. Feel free to skip it unless you like stalki...cough cough reading other people's stories, like me.
The meat of this blog is to rate cheesecake on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being basically orgasmic and 1 basically the crap that came out of the last butt in that human centipede movie. I never watched it so I don't have a visual. But my imagination is on point so I don't need to watch it to have a general idea of what came out and what it might taste like. The rating system is super subjective, as standardizing criteria is way too formal and posh. I'm not going to sit here and say, "omg this texture of this cheesecake is so fluffy its like tasting clouds. I love eating clouds lol. #hashtag" or "this vanilla bean crust overpowers the cake, less vanilla would be better and provide more consistency." Nah that is boring. Depending on the mood I am either going to talk like I watched a master-class Gordon Ramsey show on Youtube and thus can act like I'm Gordon Ramsey or I'm going to comment on whether I ate too much beforehand to constitute a good rating.
The interesting thing about this is that I'm going to go to literally every place. No matter if its some three star Michelin restaurant or some one star local newspaper might get the runs here restaurant I will ask if they have cheesecake, and if they do I will try it. Will most places be some frozen slice they found at Walmart down the street and got it bulked ordered? Probably. But there are some gems in the wash that are glorious. So get ready Applebees, Waffle House, or Cheetah's strip club (heard they have a buffet that isn't too shabby) I am going to rate your cheesecake. Oh and there will be a picture after the first paragraph to showcase the cheesecake so you can see the cheesecake in all its glory. I will link some of the more obscure places I find myself at.
I'll post the rating in bold at the end and hopefully I justified it in the preceding paragraphs. If I didn't do a good job, well be butt hurt about it and vent away on the comment section. Also send cheesecake pics. I love cheesecake. Srsly.
Libe Barer, please go out with me,
Cheesecake Lover.
P.S That pic was taking shamelessly from Wikipedia. It looks it it will suck because the presentation is too flawless, similar to the burgers you see on a McDonald's commercial or when you are getting catfished on a dating site.
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