So I went to this Halloween party on Friday that I really did not prepare for (frankly because I thought that this particular Halloween party was completed already). So I obviously went as Shaggy from the show Scooby Doo because it was super easy and required little cost. Everyone there was underwhelmed at my costume selection, but give my costume last year (CareBear in Christmas sweater) it should have been expected. I ate most of the food per usual, and took home some more. Overall, it was fun and I was happy that I went.
Now onto the Cheesecake review.
This particular Cheesecake review is sponsored by a good friend of mine, who decided that it was in her best interest to go buy, and I quote, "specifically for me" a huge thing of Cheesecake bites. There was a total of 63 bites in the package. 63. This thing was basically three Cheesecakes in one box. I am not that fat nor do I want to get to that level of fatness. I have my fat standards. Also, let me throw this disclaimer on the table. Those frozen cheesecake you find at the store are also allowable to review. Yes those Cheesecake that are lower priced with questionable ingredients bought by people who are either too lazy or just can't bake are allowed to be judged will be reviewed. Why? Because I'm not some rich person who has the time every week to go to every restaurant imaginable, just to try their most likely frozen cheesecake bought bulk at an overpriced value. Just not going to happen. Deal with it.
Given that, I am super happy that this girl bought me this ridiculous Cheesecake. She probably thinks I'm hot, which is a pretty accurate assumption given that I am indeed very hot. But my hotness and heart only belong to Libe Barer. Just in case you are reading this, Libe, like Cheerios you are good for my heart #letmebeyourherobaby.
So these Cheesecake bites are made by this company called Member's Mark. Here is a link to Sam's Club display of this brand. Probably could find the brand via other locations like Publix, Walmart, or Amazon Prime. They actually call them 'Cheesecake Miniatures', probably to rope you into buying them so people don't feel bad eating them as they are 'miniatures'. But you gotta ask, is eating the box over a course of two weeks giving you the same calorie intake as eating the box in under two days? I think so. But hey do what makes you feel good about your cheating on your diet habits, even if you are lying to yourself. Anyways it was a variety pack, gotta mix up the flavors and challenge those taste buds to eat outside the box. Well, in this case inside the box but nevertheless. One was this turtle chocolate flavor, a second was a white chocolate raspberry flavor that obviously was not only raspberries used for the 'raspberries swirl', and a third was the original Cheesecake. Would not recommend stuffing all three flavors into your mouth at once, trust me wasn't very good.
Given my purist attitude, I will be rating solely a third of the Cheesecake (the original), and given that this Cheesecake was only a third purist, i am giving 2/3 demerit for not trying harder. Like I know you are some frozen Cheesecake company that is appealing to the masses who do not see Cheesecake in such a loving manner as I do, but its just how this review process works. It like the people who love How I Met Your Mother besides Season 7, even though Season 7 had to end like that given the nature of that business. We are still going to look poorly at Season 7 and think why the fudge balls did Ted take that fing long to finally get with Robin and why was it so forced. Like come on that could have been constructed so much better #stilltickedoff.
The original Cheesecake bite was meh. Gonna be honest here. I liked the wrapping and the size (frankly it was a perfect taste tester). But one little bite just wasn't enough. I need like ten of them to be satisfied. It was creamier than I anticipated; however I've had creamier. You really couldn't taste the graham cracker crust, just the Cheesecake filling. And obviously you could tell it was a frozen Cheesecake. Despite these issues, I want to point out that this isn't the worst Cheesecake I have ever had. I've actually made a Cheesecake that tastes worse than these little miniatures. Furthermore, its probably at a lower cost than the rest of the Cheesecakes I have reviewed thus far and its palatable to the masses. Finally, it is the first official frozen Cheesecake I have reviewed.
Overall Rating: 7.8/10
Now onto the Cheesecake review.
This particular Cheesecake review is sponsored by a good friend of mine, who decided that it was in her best interest to go buy, and I quote, "specifically for me" a huge thing of Cheesecake bites. There was a total of 63 bites in the package. 63. This thing was basically three Cheesecakes in one box. I am not that fat nor do I want to get to that level of fatness. I have my fat standards. Also, let me throw this disclaimer on the table. Those frozen cheesecake you find at the store are also allowable to review. Yes those Cheesecake that are lower priced with questionable ingredients bought by people who are either too lazy or just can't bake are allowed to be judged will be reviewed. Why? Because I'm not some rich person who has the time every week to go to every restaurant imaginable, just to try their most likely frozen cheesecake bought bulk at an overpriced value. Just not going to happen. Deal with it.Given that, I am super happy that this girl bought me this ridiculous Cheesecake. She probably thinks I'm hot, which is a pretty accurate assumption given that I am indeed very hot. But my hotness and heart only belong to Libe Barer. Just in case you are reading this, Libe, like Cheerios you are good for my heart #letmebeyourherobaby.
So these Cheesecake bites are made by this company called Member's Mark. Here is a link to Sam's Club display of this brand. Probably could find the brand via other locations like Publix, Walmart, or Amazon Prime. They actually call them 'Cheesecake Miniatures', probably to rope you into buying them so people don't feel bad eating them as they are 'miniatures'. But you gotta ask, is eating the box over a course of two weeks giving you the same calorie intake as eating the box in under two days? I think so. But hey do what makes you feel good about your cheating on your diet habits, even if you are lying to yourself. Anyways it was a variety pack, gotta mix up the flavors and challenge those taste buds to eat outside the box. Well, in this case inside the box but nevertheless. One was this turtle chocolate flavor, a second was a white chocolate raspberry flavor that obviously was not only raspberries used for the 'raspberries swirl', and a third was the original Cheesecake. Would not recommend stuffing all three flavors into your mouth at once, trust me wasn't very good.
Given my purist attitude, I will be rating solely a third of the Cheesecake (the original), and given that this Cheesecake was only a third purist, i am giving 2/3 demerit for not trying harder. Like I know you are some frozen Cheesecake company that is appealing to the masses who do not see Cheesecake in such a loving manner as I do, but its just how this review process works. It like the people who love How I Met Your Mother besides Season 7, even though Season 7 had to end like that given the nature of that business. We are still going to look poorly at Season 7 and think why the fudge balls did Ted take that fing long to finally get with Robin and why was it so forced. Like come on that could have been constructed so much better #stilltickedoff.
The original Cheesecake bite was meh. Gonna be honest here. I liked the wrapping and the size (frankly it was a perfect taste tester). But one little bite just wasn't enough. I need like ten of them to be satisfied. It was creamier than I anticipated; however I've had creamier. You really couldn't taste the graham cracker crust, just the Cheesecake filling. And obviously you could tell it was a frozen Cheesecake. Despite these issues, I want to point out that this isn't the worst Cheesecake I have ever had. I've actually made a Cheesecake that tastes worse than these little miniatures. Furthermore, its probably at a lower cost than the rest of the Cheesecakes I have reviewed thus far and its palatable to the masses. Finally, it is the first official frozen Cheesecake I have reviewed.
Overall Rating: 7.8/10
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